a piece of my mind...

Yes nobody’s perfect. We are all human. We make mistakes. Blah blah blah.

It’s true. You can’t argue with that.

But it doesn’t mean that we can’t do anything about us being human and all. Right?

That’s why my resolution for a better me is to apologize to everyone that I’ve hurt. And I’ve already accomplished one big apology. Which actually made me feel a whole lot better. 

I’ll stop creating barriers between me and the people who genuinely cares about me. I’ll stop being a selfish and stubborn brat.

This way I’ll be truly happy. :))

I’ll be the bubbly, cheery, GV person that I used to be! YEAH \m/

Soon.

Will try to make good use of my alone time. :))

*this is one of the most challenging periods of my life and all I ask is for you, my friend, to support me in the decision that I have made.

To those who texted me today that the college is offering a summer class for EEE3, thank you. I know you all meant well and you just want me to graduate as soon as possible. But unfortunately I’ve already made the decision to not take summer classes, be an intern (this summer) and take EEE3 on the 1st semester.

I know to most of you this decision seem a bit irrational. I mean why would I waste the opportunity of finishing EEE3 in 4-weeks’ time and then enjoy my freedom afterwards? Also, when taking EEE3 in a regular semester is more costly than during the summer classes, right? Plus the fact that I could start working immediately after summer classes has ended.

So, why did I choose not to?

• I chose to accept the OJT because I wasn’t able to experience being an intern last year because I took summer classes to make sure that I don’t overload during the regular semester, para mas madali grumaduate, which apparently failed big time. So this time I want to take this opportunity to learn responsibility beyond my academics and my extra-curricular activities. Gusto ko rin muna magkaroon ng overview on what to expect after college. And curious din ako kung gaano ko ma-aaply ang mga natutunan ko sa classroom dito sa OJT. 
• I plan to make good use of my free time during the 1st semester since I only have 1 subject (plus PE hopefully). I’ve always wanted to teach kids, so with my free time I can now actually try tutoring! YEY! 
• If I’m actually going to march this April 21st and be part of the unemployed population after I still don’t have concrete plans on what I want to do. So the 1st semester will be my time to plan my future. To actually decide on things. I can’t let go of CIEM yet. 
• I think there is more that I can do to help the organization which I will not be able to accomplish as an alumna. Plus I want to get to know the new members more. 
• I think staying for 5 more months will actually be an advantage for me as I prepare myself for my battle with the real world. 

Gusto ko lang talaga mag-drama. Hahaha. Pero seriously, disheartening kasi pag hindi supportive yung friends mo sa decision mo. And minsan lang ako gumawa ng decision na para talaga sakin,yung gusto ko talaga gawin, yung alam ko na may value sa buhay ko. :)

1. Thank you. 2 words that I always forget to tell you. Kahit gaano pa ako kasuplada andyan ka lang lagi for me. Lahat ng gusto ko binibigay mo. Kahit anong kasalanan pa gawin ko, pinapatawad mo ako. Kahit ang tanda ko na, tinuturing mo pa rin akong baby sa bahay. hahaha. You’ll always be the greatest man in my life. I love you. 

2.You already made your mark. And a great one too. It’s about time that you start to think about yourself first before others. Whatever decision you’ll make I know that you’ll do great. :D

3. That awkward “Hi!”. hahaha. Yan kasi anlakas ng loob mo. lol. Pero awkwardness aside naappreciate ko yung ginawa mo. It was really something unexpected. Natuwa naman ako kahit papano. Btw, pwede talaga tayo maging friends. hahaha :”>

4. Your message made me regret one moment in my life. Pero baka nga God have greater plans for us. Hindi nga siguro tayo meant to be and I know naman na you’ve found the love of your life na. And I’m happy for the both of you. :D

5. Thank you. Kasi hindi ka pa nagsasawa sa akin. Sa mga mood swings ko, sa mga katamaran ko. hahaha. Your one true friend. :D

6. Hi crush! Congrats pala! hahaha. Ikaw na talaga ang perfect. lol. Sana bago tayo grumaduate ma-hug kita ulet. >:D<

7. There’s too much that you want to do. Piliin mo yung talagang makakapagpasaya sa’yo. And thank you rin sa pagiging tunay na kaibigan. :D

8. I’m sorry I chickened out. I know I owe you an explanation pero hindi ko pa kaya. Anyway, I won’t take all the blame in this kasi alam mo naman na may kasalanan ka din dito. hahaha. Pero alam ko na ang sama ko din talaga sayo lately. Sorry.

9. Hay. You’ve already made a memorable mark in my life. Pero feeling ko iniiwasan mo ako lately. :( I’m sorry kung feeling mo ang sama ko sa’yo. Ganun lang siguro talaga ako maglambing. :D

10. Hello isa pang crush. Ikaw talaga ang ideal boyfriend ko. Pwede ba kitang ligawan? hehehehe.

11. I’m sorry.

12. Move on.

13-16. Everytime na lumalabas tayo nababawasan ang stress sa buhay ko. Thank you for being such wonderful friends. Para sa isa jan, umamin ka na kasi. OA na yung pagiging TORPE mo. Buti pa si ano… kaso puro lang din banat ang alam. lol.

17. Ikaw alam ko na kilala mo na talaga ako eh. Salamat sa pagbibigay lagi ng advice sakin kahit madalas ayaw ko tanggapin. hehe. At pagsabihan mo yun ha. Ayoko talaga nakakasakit ng damdamin eh. :)) At sana makahanap ka na rin ng lovelife mo. :D

18-20. You three made me a better person. You taught me how to let go of my inhibitions, how to enjoy life and how to be free. My college life is more memorable because of you. Wala man akong boyfriend masaya na ako na nandito kayo sa buhay ko. lol. labyu bbgs. :*

People my age often cry over their shattered relationships. But not me. Being the spoiled brat that I am, I often cry when things don’t go my way. Yes, I admit, I am a spoiled brat.

But no, I don’t go for material things. I’m not that shallow.

Mostly I cry when I get disappointed. And I get disappointed when I don’t get things my way. Wow, I am pathetic and immature.

I can’t help being disappointed when what I really wanted is already in my hands and then somebody takes it away. Just like that.

The opportunity cost of the decision I made. :’(

Another wish not granted.

Yes it’s not yet the end of the world. But I just don’t feel like living in this ‘world’ right now. :’(

Dec 22, 2011

“Heartbreak Day”

You can’t always get what you want. I know. Pero minsan di parin maiiwasang madisappoint diba? Lalo na kung alam mo na hawak hawak mo na, tapos biglang kukunin pa. Ako kasi yung taong walang masyadong pangarap o gusto sa buhay. Kaya minsan pag may ginusto ako, sinisigurado ko na makukuha ko. Kaya pag di ko nakuha, OA ako madisappoint.

OA. As in iyakan ba naman ang napakaliit na bagay. Haaayyyyy. Buti wala pa rin ilaw dito sa kwarto di napansin ni Papa na umiiyak ako. Parang tanga lang.

Simpleng bagay nga lang naman pero malaki naman ang halaga sakin. Munting gusto lang naman bago ako grumaduate. Pero kung hindi talaga pwede, eh di tatanggapin ko nalang na hindi. May magagawa pa ba ako?

Mababaw na at selfish pero di ko pa rin maiwasang maging bitter.

:’(